Are you as 100% disciplined as you’d like to be in your marriage?” We figure most of you would answer “no.” The devastating answer is that you are as 100% disciplined as you will ever be! You are 100% disciplined to the good habits in your marriage and 100% disciplined to the poor habits in your marriage. The only thing we can do is change a poor habit into a good habit. Social science tells us it takes 21 days to form a new habit. So here are a couple of healthy marital habits you can start changing!
Uninterrupted Planned Conversation
Some of you might be thinking “Do they know how crazy our life is? How can we have “Planned” conversation?” Simple, schedule it. We make appointments for work, to workout, lunch appointments, Dr appointments, and car maintenance appointments. Why not have a standing daily conversation with your spouse! Daily conversation is a habit that will greatly reduce the stress in your marriage. All too often we think we’ve communicated something to our spouse, but really we’ve only thought about it in our own minds. Daily conversation allows you to “cover the bases” making sure you and your spouse stay on the same page with schedules and important events. Gentlemen, it also makes your wife feel valued. Nothing says “I value you” to your wife more than her watching you shut off the TV, put down your phone, and look at her when you’re talking. Trust us when we say she will feel closer to you than ever when you communicate eyeball to eyeball. And remember, when she feels close he will want to be close.
Intentional Planned Intimacy
“Planned intimacy? It sounds so unromantic.” While we are talking about bedroom activities, intimacy goes SO much deeper. Here are some tips for creating intimacy outside the bedroom which will lead to greater intimacy in the bedroom.
Doing something fun together creates a great deal of intimacy between a husband and a wife. We like to cook together. Working together in the kitchen is almost like dancing as we help each other prepare delicious meals. We also like to golf together, shoot guns together and garden together. Having fun together as a couple requires a lot of compromises. If you are not necessarily doing an activity that’s on the top of your fun list, watch how much fun your spouse is having and enjoy their fun. I (Jay) had to learn this about shopping with Laura. I don’t like malls. Laura does and I’ve learned to enjoy watching her have fun in the mall.
Date! That’s right go out on dates. It’s what fanned the flame of love early in your relationship and it’s critical to keep the flames burning. Dating doesn’t have to be expensive. Rent a $1 Redbox movie, put the kids to bed early, pop some popcorn, and enjoy. Pack a picnic lunch and go to a local park. Whatever you decide simply put it on the calendar and make it happen! Begin to develop good healthy habits in your marriage and watch your love grow deeper and richer!